Say Yes to Saying No - by Jaylynn Davis
There is so much power in the word “no”— a two-letter word with so much meaning. Saying no is a skill. It comes a lot easier to some than it does to others. We are often too afraid to hurt other people’s feelings by telling them no. We do not want them to hate us or think we are rude. But saying no benefits us in more ways than we think. When we stop people-pleasing and focus on helping and not enabling, and acknowledging our inner voice, saying no becomes easier. If something does not appeal to you, you do not have to do it. It is your life, and you are in control of your decisions. This is something that I struggle with personally. If someone asks me to do something, even if it is simply hanging out with them, I feel bad if I say no. I say to myself, “They want to spend time with you. It will make them happy.” But will it make me happy? It is not always my desire to go out and be around people. This often results in me physically being there with them but not mentally being present. Sometimes it is better just to say that you are not up for it – and protect your peace. If that is not really what you would like to do, then do not do it!
When I say no, it is often followed by some feelings of guilt. Do you feel this way as well? You must remember that you are allowed to be unavailable. If it means you are working on your mental health, then do what is best for you. If that means saying no, then do it. If someone cannot respect that decision, they do not deserve to be in your life. You must realize that your feelings are important. You must honor yourself and listen to your intuition. You may feel selfish in saying no, but remember that you are actually being selfless. If you do not honor who you are and what you need, you will be beaten down by life. Who can you help if you are completely depleted? No one. So please take care of yourself and listen to what you need to be present and prepared to help others. This advice might come as a shock, but caring for you and following your intuition is vital in this season of your life. If something is not good for you, then stay away from it.
This is the month to start a new habit. Start adding “no” into your vocabulary. Practice it. Preach it. Use your power. You do not always have to be the go-to person. As I said, you’re allowed to be unavailable. Practice this in other aspects of your life as well. You cannot let people walk all over you. You cannot answer their every call. You cannot let them rely on you for everything. Why allow yourself to carry the burdens of others? Make it a goal to work on saying no and meaning it this month!